I found myself in the wilderness struggling to find my way home. It had been so long that I didn’t even realize that I was there. In my wilderness bitterness, anger, shame and regret surrounded me. The longer I stayed there, the deeper into the wilderness I sank. No prayers could help me to get out of this place. So I stayed where I was, wandering aimlessly with no hope. If you’ve ever been in this place you know what I’m talking about. It could be the most sunny day, but you’ve grown so accustomed to the darkness that you can’t see the light. You play the blame game because you don’t want to face the truth. Staying in bed and withdrawing from others has become your refuge but not your strength. You could go to a doctor or a counselor for help but still nothing would change. And so, you remain in this place all alone.
That was me. Oh, I was going to church, Sunday School and singing in the choir but I was just going through the motions. And because of that, these things too began to slip away from me. The fact is, I was not right with God. I had put my faith in my job rather than relying on God to take care of me. My ambitions became my focus as I took my eyes off of God and “I” became my number one priority. I lost my joy in the process and fell deeper into this wilderness, this dark hole.
But one day someone was praying for me. I’m sure of that and God heard their prayers. I went to church and felt God’s presence. I listened as he told me to lay it all down and felt his spirit as he wrapped his arms around me. I worshiped him with all my heart that night. I didn’t think he would ever use me again but he has in a powerful way. He is allowing me to share Jesus with others in a way that not everyone can do. He calls us all to spread the gospel. And he has called me to write. And so it is . . . Not right with God; now I write for God!
Matthew 28:19-20 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the, Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always even unto the end of the world. Amen.
And I Bow Down
So I’m getting back to the swing of things after the Christmas and New Year’s holidays. I’m sure you can relate that it only takes a few weeks of getting out of your routine to make a new one. My new routine, should I choose to stay here, would be that of having coffee and juice in the morning and surfing mindlessly on the web for “research” on my next book project. Who am I kidding? One link leads to another, and then it’s pretty much the end of the day with nothing being accomplished. If I were still in the “real” business world I wouldn’t last very long. Uh oh. Wait a minute. I am in the “real” business world. The only difference between this one and my previous one is that now I have total control over my path of success. Sure, I will be relying on others for various aspects of my new business but the goals that I set are totally within my own control. So as I set out to truly make this a successful business I will begin by first thanking God for directing my paths that got me to this point in the first place. For without Him I would have nothing. All that I have comes from Him.
My 30 plus years with my previous employer allowed me to grow as a leader, taught me how to set goals, and helped me to learn a lot about people. Bottom line, everyone wants to be recognized for their efforts and to be as successful as they can be. It’s the different personalities within a work group that make for an interesting day at the office. In any business there will be adversity. It’s how you react to it that builds your character and helps you move on to something else much quicker. I can remember many years ago I had applied for another position within the company I worked for. The position would have been a promotion for me. I left the interview feeling like I had just had the best interview of my life and I felt sure I would get the job. Within a few days I received word that they had selected someone else. I was so disappointed. I just knew I would be offered the job. I started dwelling on the situation and my disappointment turned to anger and it manifested itself in various emotions. I first cried openly, then withdrew from others. I then began talking about it to others. Fortunately, I had a very wise supervisor at the time. His counsel helped me to focus not on why I didn’t get the job , but to put my negative energy into focusing on what I needed to do to be ready for the next opportunity. I can remember having a co-worker that had been overlooked several times and that individual had become a bitter person. I realized I did not want to become that person. And, I didn’t want others to perceive that I was that way either. So I decided to follow my supervisor’s advice and I believe that changed the course of my work life. I became a senior leader and was fortunate to lead an organization of highly successful team members.
So, I’m off on my new venture and as with everything else in life will be needing others in order to be successful. I’ve decided to get real this week and focus on the business side of my new career as an author. I’ll spend this time developing my business plan and setting my goals for 2014. I’ll identify barriers so that when I encounter them I am prepared to address them in a positive way.
What is it that you need to get real about? I encourage you to make a plan and set realistic goals that will help you this year!
“Thank you God for loving me and never leaving me even when I turn my back on you time and time again. Thank you for knowing what is best for me even when I think a different direction is where I need to go. I love you and adore you. I choose to bow down before you and seek your face in all that I do.” Amen